Hipsters call for tighter control on Moleskine® sales

Image courtesy http://moots.files.wordpress.com/2006/12/moleskine.jpg

Students in the Architecture, Creative Media and Design faculties at RMIT University staged a protest outside Swanton Street’s Curtin House today when Metropolis Books announced they had sold out of large Moleskine® notebooks. The independent bookstore, which stocks the full range of Moleskine® products, met with increased demand for the range after a Facebook fan-page touting the benefits of owning the notebook made famous by Ernest Hemingway appeared on the social networking site last month.

A representative from Students for the Protection of all Moleskine®s (SPaM) said, “We’re not asking for the world. All we’re asking is that retailers be that little bit more discerning when parting with Moleskine® products so they don’t fall into the wrong hands. A quick look-up-and-down would be enough; if the customer is wearing cargo shorts and a bright pink visor, they’re not Moleskine® material. If it’s tight-ish jeans and an American Apparel tee or a plaid shirt, that’s a signal to close the sale.”

Native to southern Uganda, the Moleskine® (paperii romanticus) is known for its sleek design and built-in ruler. In 1895 Gary Mole and Dennis Dykskine patented the crop and transported it to Italy, where it was farmed organically for nearly a century. In the late 1990s, Apple Corporation bought the Italian Moleskine® farm and created the famous ‘Hemingway vs Fitzgerald’ advertising campaign, featuring a Moleskine® loving Hemingway outwitting F. Scott Fitzgerald, a well-known Spirax user. Moleskine®s have been sold in boutique and independent bookstores and stationery retailers across Melbourne since 2004.

“We honestly had no idea this would happen,” said a Metropolis Books spokesperson. “We know people love Moleskine®s, but this kind of demonstration was… unprecedented. We’ll be doing our best to cater for the growing demand, but obviously we can’t breech discrimination laws – hell, if Hitler marched in here wanting a Moleskine® we’d have to sell it to him.”

In related news, an angry coffee drinker claims recent ‘indie-sploitation’ advertising campaigns by both McDonalds and Gloria Jeans “tricked” her into “purchasing coffee from multinational and/or unethical” retailers. “I don’t care if it was fair trade and they’re giving all their money to bushfire victims,” Georgia Careworth of North Carlton says. “My self-image has been severely damaged and nothing can fix it. Nothing except free fair-trade coffee.”