Saturday, February 28, 2009

Connex curtains public transport performance art

French-owned public transport provider, Connex has shunned homage to the work of author, Gaston Leroux in a move that has angered local theatre lovers and student lobby groups alike. A freelance theatre group known as 'Théâtre de Chagny' expressed its dismay at the issuance of a cease-and-desist order by Connex to prevent them from performing on Connex-owned trains. The duo - Lirsten Kaw of Richmond and Fdrian Aernand of no fixed address - interpret modern-day and classic plays and musicals for the enjoyment of fellow commuters on Melbourne's public transport network.

Kaw and Aernand's abridged version of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's popular Broadway musical, The Phantom of the Opera (in four-and-a-half minutes) has attracted critical acclaim. "I thought they were Melbourne University arts students on a dare for 'O Week' when I first saw them," says Tanya Holdsworth, a 33 year-old mother and nail technician from Bayswater. "But then I saw them on the 4.15 [service] on the way to Red Rooster to pick up dinner for kids."

Armed with a red, white and blue-striped canvas netball bag, the two aspiring writers/actors portray the many and varied characters of the Lloyd Webber musical, assisted by costumes donated by the costume department of popular late-nineties Channel Nine drama, Halifax FP.

Unlike the twenty-year run of the Broadway production of Phantom, Théâtre de Chagny were only able to perform four times on Wednesday morning and twice in the afternoon before being ushered off the train by Connex ticket inspectors. "They said that we would have to buy an extra ticket for our bag of costumes, otherwise we couldn't travel on the train," said an upset Kaw. "They said the same rules applied to surfboards and bicycles, but I believe it was clearly persecution of the dramatic arts."

"We have the support of the community to thank during this difficult time," said Aernand who is currently writing a stage version of popular 1980s sitcom, Dougie Howser, M.D. "I mean, everyone seemed to like what we were doing. Admittedly some were using iPods and others were reading the paper, but I think we really made a difference to people's lives by bringing the theatre to them."

Connex refused to comment but is rumoured to be discussing the matter with Yarra Trams and bus service providers Ventura and Invicta in order to propose a state-wide ban to Transport Minister, Lynne Kosky. "The ban represents the decline in acceptance of performance art in an already cultureless society by major corporations," says Kaw. "Wake up, Connex."

Vampire skanks demand dove-bearing rights

A recent petition to state parliament by an Australian chapter of fansite fairiesvampires.com states, 'As worshippers of the undead, we demand to be able to carry pet doves around on our fingers and into public venues. If blind people can have puppies, why can't we have doves?'

The group, identifying themselves as 'vampyreskankzmelburrrn', have been attracting the curiosity of onlookers at popular public venues in the CBD – Flinders Street Station, Melbourne Central Station, indie music night BANG!, and in the rare books collection at the State Library of Victoria – since the cinematic release of feature film Twilight late last year.

A spokesperson for the group, calling herself bloodyrose22, said, you only see what you truely [sic] believe in... just wanting to believe doesnt [sic] open your mind enough to broaden the specrum [sic] of your eyes.....[sic] you see... you see these things every day but you dont [sic] notice that you see them because you are missing the key to unlimmited [sic] sight....belief....[sic].

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, whose daughter Chelsea has fought a long battle with internet-based fandom, encouraged the public to view the skanks with compassion.

“I just don't really get into all that sort of personal negative stuff,” Mr. Rudd said. “My job is to outline some positive plans for the country's future and perhaps bloodyrose22 and the Government don't like the fact that I'm putting out some positive alternatives. What's their preference... for me to be a negative carping opposition leader?”

The petition will be pulled out of a hat in question time this week and lain open to debate in the Victorian House of Representatives.


No doves were harmed in the writing of this story.